Saturday, December 24, 2011
Why Women Love Assholes
I have heard that there are guides out there that women use to control men. I have read some of these books that women like to keep "secret". I can think of one that comes to mind that I won't mention because I don't want to bear the wrath of the women who strive to keep it's title a secret. I can mention magazines like cosmopolitan. They are very overt in their instruction on to how to please, titillate and control men. Have you ever read cosmo? If your a guy probably not. Maybe you looked at some of the bodacious models in the ads but, if you look really closely you will find that it is a handbook, a guide to please and control men. I'm down with the pleasing part but not so much with the control.
For the average "nice guy" the terrain of meeting and keeping a nice girl is a perilous journey with no map or compass to show the way. It is a series of trial and error, mostly error that leads us to the path of wisdom. The problem is, most men who have traveled this journey to wisdom do not want to give out their secrets.
I don't know exactly why they don't want to share; but, I believe it may have something to do with pride and loyalty. Especially, since we don't want this information to get into the wrong hands.
I am on a journey to collect the tips, tricks and words of wisdom from all men. This is a personal journey that is motivated only by my desire to find the truth as best as I can define it, and to share it with other "nice guys" like me who have suffered the pangs of unrequited love due to our very nature of being nice. Somehow it seems that women prefer the "tough guy". I will conduct many interviews, organize and summarize the responses and then present the results here once this project is complete.
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Now, the second rule of survival is Distraction. This is a very delicate skill that must be mastered well before it can really be effective. If you have kids you can practice on them; but, it goes like this.
ReplyDeleteYour wife/girlfriend/spouse/sex slave is in a rather combative mood tonight. You can sense it in her body language, the tone of her voice etc. She probably got to talking with one of her girlfriends and has built up a case against you for whatever reason. Bottom line is, she's got it in for you and you are going to have to deal with it. You know what I mean. Okay, here is how you handle it.
First, be sympathetic and listen. Throw in a few very simple, benign questions once in awhile to really make her think you are listening. Let her go for awhile to get it out of her system.
Then, you will sense when she is going to start turning the subject to something negative to suck you into a fight or ask your opinion about something you don't want to talk about - at this point, you have to totally throw her off guard by changing the subject.......... Ask her if she heard that there was a kidnapping in her friends neighborhood - tell her you heard some weird news blurb on the internet about a kidnapping or something. You must use something that strange and bizarre enough to make her forget about what she was thinking. Now is your opportunity to either, change the conversation to another topic, or make your exit. DO NOT go back to the topic she was talking about and do not give her anymore information about the Distraction you employed.
She will probably call her friend and find out everything is okay and you will tell her yea, it was some weird news blurb on the internet maybe it was somewhere else.
Otherwise, you will have successfully changed the subject and have moved her on to something else. The art of Distraction is an amazing way to avoid unnecessary arguments about things that are just a waste of time to fight about. Remember, women need to fight once in awhile, it makes them feel like they have control when they humilate you. They need to feel this once in awhile because we are basically stronger and smarter than them most of the time. The trick is to pick your battle and fight about the things you want to fight about. Distraction is a way to avoid fighting about something that you don't want to fight about.
Another technique that I have not yet defined exactly is Learn to Move a Mountain once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteWomen cannot stand to see a man laying down on the couch relaxing watching a football game or the latest episode of Gilligans Island. For some reason, it just makes their skin crawl that we are sitting there relaxed. Without realizing it, in the blink of an eye, they have calculated an inventory of everything that needs to get done around the house, bills to pay, things to fix, people to visit - you name it - it's an avalanche of responsibilities crashing down on you as you try to relax and watch the game. YOu know what I am talking about. Well - there are two ways to approach this problem. Number one and easiest is to have moved a mountain.
Generally speaking, Women want security. They want someone who will take care of them and be a good father to their children. Someone who will provide for them by working his ass off his whole life and then dying. That is why they cannot stand to see us sitting on the couch relaxing. If we are relaxing, things are not getting done and they feel insecure. So, you have to move a mountain. Do some fantastic deed that will totally impress her.
Begin by finding out what are her pet peaves. What are the little things that drive her nuts. Make a list. Then find out what are some of the big projects that she would like done. You will have to approach her very casually in order to get the best information.
Once you are armed with a few things - make an effort to take care of one little thing every other day for two weeks and make a point of telling her each time. Keep a record of what you have done.
Then tackle one of the biggest things on the list - maybe fixing the leacky faucet. Once you have done this there will be more things in the future; but, you have bought some time. Now, the next time you are sitting down on the couch enjoying the game and she starts walking around with that body language that says "what can I do to make him get up" - You can just say to her "Hey honey, hows that faucet doing?" I really like the color we painted that room in the den - is Max still enjoying the leggo's we put together for him.
Bottom line with this is - it's like a sling shot - you will have to make an effort; but, if you do it correctly you can balance it out so you can relax on the couch or in front of your computer or wherever it is that you want to be and you can do it with piece of mind and without being harassed by your girlfriend/wife.
This one is called - take control of your self fulfilling prophecy – or be careful what you say. You must always remember that you are the MAN! Your woman is going to follow your direction as long as she feels it is working out great for her. You are the man and you must take control of each and every situation. Even when you are allowing her to have control over certain things it is only to create the illusion that she has any control. Really, you are the only one that is in control. The destiny of everything is in your hands.
ReplyDeleteKnowing this we nice guys have to be careful what we say. Sometimes we may lash out in anger and say something stupid like, “You don’t really love me! – you are just using me to get what you want!” – be careful what you say because it can come true. Remember, you have the power to control her mind and she will take into account everything you say and make it so!
Nice guys want to pour there heart out to the woman they love and expose all of their weaknesses in the hopes that somehow it will be easier and she will be more accepting of him now that she has seen his “weaker more feminine side” – The nice guy is an idealist who’s intentions are good but misguided. He envisions sippin cocoa in bed together with bathrobes and fuzzy slippers as he spills his guts. Meanwhile, she is listening ever so silently with a smile and taking it all in. In the back of her mind she is thinking, “what the fuck am I doing with this loser” – “shit, I could be hanging out with tony zapponi the Italian guy from my old neighborhood wtf”
Being in a relationship with a woman is like driving a car. You can’t take your hands off the wheel. You must always be in control –or at least create the illusion that you are in control. Women really want to be told what to do and what to think, up to a point of course. In a true love relationship there is a delicate balance that shifts ever so slightly from time to time. That is the ideal.
But as a nice guy you are leaving simple choices up to her it’s like taking your hands off the wheel and asking the passenger where she thinks you should go. You must always be in control. This is a fundamental concept that must be engrained into your brain.
If you are a nice guy you probably have been on a date with a girl that ended up something like this:
“what would you like to do?” – I don’t care what do you think.
"hmmm how about if we watch a movie?"
“okay, what do you want to watch?”
"Huh, I don’t know what are you in the mood for?"
“Humm, I’m open to suggestions, I’m really easy going, what would are you up for?"
"Hmm, anything is good with me – just put on something!"
Nice guys are nice – but it’s not so nice when a girl wants the man to make a decision and take her by the hand and the man freezes up.
Women by nature want to be taken care of. That is why they want the man to make the decisions. Also, they are very lazy by nature and just want us to do everything for them.
The self fulfilling prophecy is that the woman will actually believe anything you say. If you confess your weaknesses to her in the hopes that she will think you are “sensitive” or that she might bolster your confidence and disagree with you about your weakness – forget it! She is going to believe what ever you tell her to believe. Start singing your own praises and speak of your wonderful accomplishments and your plans for the future. Stand tall and proud and remember rule number 1 if you are ever in doubt.
LISTENING
ReplyDeleteNice Guy, A-hole or Gentleman, we all need to master the skill of Listening. The power of listening can help you to get her in the mood for sex and/or avoid an argument about something that really doesn't matter. Rule number 1: - Me - remember it. Everyone wants to hear about themselves, they love themselves more than anyone/thing in this world. Yes, its true! Your girlfriend/wife/date has pent up feelings and emotions just waiting to be released. If you can figure out how to release them just right, you are guaranteed the best sex you can get from her or a good nights sleep depending on what you want.
Listening to a woman can be almost as effective as a good massage. Think of it as a massage for the brain. Let her talk about anything, she will keep going, you will feel the desire to interject in agreement and share a similar story - DON'T - just nod wisely and say "Hmm, I know what you mean" - "tell me more..." get her to do the talking and let her talk. If she gets going into a negative direction (bitch type A) steer her away to a more pleasant topic and then let her drift. Now, you must SINCERELY compliment her about something she did or her reaction to a situation in order to make her smile. You must get a smile. Then listen more.
What you are doing is satisfying the primal desire that we all have to talk about ourselves and to have someone agree with the way we feel. You are also allowing her to externalize her thinking which helps her to see things clearer - when you take the time to do this, she will love you for it because she loves herself and you are allowing her to be and express herself by listening to her.
Most men have a tendency to dominate or hijack the conversation in order to prove how smart, strong, better they are - it's natural. Fight the urge, listen and she will be a happy girl. Remember LISTENING is an art and a skill that takes patience.